Posted by: Tommy | August 3, 2011

How to Speak Australian, as told to Tommy by Phil Harker

Everyone has seen the Foster’s Beer commercials that end with “Foster’s: Australian for Beer”.  Having been in Australia for 3 days, I’ve learned a few things about those commercials.  First of all, no one in Australia would be caught dead ordering a Foster’s.  Secondly, the Aussie’s absolutely have their own language and saying something is “Australian” for something is certainly valid.

We learned a bit about this phenomenon when we were in Sipadan and Matt was calling McDonalds “Mackers”.  But when we made it to Brisbane to couchsurf with a guy named Phil for 3 days, we got a crash course in speaking “Aussie”.  Phil told us about Aussie rhyming slang.  So here’s a coherent tale that is anything but when you don’t speak Aussie:

Yesterday, I called Phil on the dog after dodge to see if he could give me a German band moving a piano up the apples.  He did, so I took him up the frog to the near to get a young.  Instead of one, we had a country and when the trouble called my Al I made up a porkie.  I was in froth! I went to catch a snatch but after paying the Jack I was short an Oxford and had to catch the bread.  I was late, so now I’m Pat.

Did you get all that?  So one of the deals with rhyming slang is that there are accepted phrases that ryhme with, and therefore replace, common words.  The second word in the phrase ryhmes with the replacement word.  But the Aussies only use the first word.  So you end up with the above.  Here’s the same story, but with the full Aussie phrase.

Yesterday, I called Phil on the dog and bone after dodge and shirk to see if he could give me a German band moving a piano up the apples and pears.  He did, so I took him up the frog and toad to the near and far to get a young and frisky.  Instead of one, we had a country cousin and when the trouble and strife called my Al Capone I made up a porkie pie.  I was in froth and bubble! I went to catch a snatch and grab but after paying the Jack and Jill I was short an Oxford scholar and had to catch the bread and jam.  I was late, so now I’m Pat Malone.

Weird, right?  So here’s the translation, in actual English:

Yesterday, I called Phil on the telephone after work to see if he could give me a hand moving a piano up the stairs.  He did, so I took him up the road to the bar to get a whisky.  Instead of one, we had a dozen and when the wife called my phone I made up a lie.  I was in trouble.  I went to catch a cab, but after paying the bill I was a dollar short and had to catch the tram.  I was late, so now I’m all alone.

And now here’s a cute picture of a koala:

Awwwww

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Hey Tommy….
    Stephen says that is cockney rhyming slang! He KNEW what you were talking about!!! lol
    I didn’t of course! 🙂

  2. I read this dog and frought ” WHY do Tommy & Anna want a piano moved upstairs…and WHAT do Germans,frogs, and apples have to do with anything???” Me thinks it all just a big porkie! xoxoxo

  3. Thank goodness we didn’t need an interpreter there!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: